There was a feeling on the crux of 'let me back in the bubble!, I want to zone out, I want to zone out!", but I was thinking loads, super fast and the enormity of everything disappeared in incomprehensibility. At the same time everything felt sharp, really vibrant. I wonder how long it was that I was in that crux. It felt like an eternity: there was no beginning and there was no end in sight. Each move was going backwards as well as forwards, making you feel like you had already done moves, whilst also being in wild terror.
Setting out on it when no one was there has it's benefits. There's a point just below the crux you could be rescued from, which makes committing to the moves even harder. With no pal, you're committed from the off. There's also no one to be scared, which is nice. I spent a long time at the bottom, thinking, justifying and watching. I set out in my own time and climbed it. There was so much rationalising going on, trying to understand why I wanted to do this. In the end I just followed a feeling and knew that this climb wouldn't hurt me. Strange.
The start was magical and it really drew me in. The climb wants to be climbed! Fully spread out on reflex fingers in a crucifix position with only a finger at either end holding you in. But you feel bomber. When you don't fear the fall, because you're already at your destination, you can climb like you're flying.